Essay: "Plastic Surgery And Other Tales"

Essay: "Plastic Surgery & Other Tales", Part 1 of Several

      [Originally appeared in Eastern Connecticut State University's Campus Lantern student newspaper in the early '90s and also part of my unpublished manuscript "In Mediocrity We Trust... In Debt We Die" And Other Essays]

       I know of girls, or should I say ladies, who get their breasts enlarged or reduced, their rear-ends narrowed or widened, their thighs vacuumed, their tummies tucked, their nosed altered in a number of ways, collagen implanted in their lips, fat liposuctioned from a number of strategic locations, their stomachs stapled, or any combination of the above, and then some.

       Others, who are, let's say, excessively endowed, may even opt to have their two thousand some-odd body parts expanded, contracted, reduced, augmented or whatever, once or ad infinitum. Plastic or cosmetic surgery can probably be done on just about every external part of the body, but a lot of the time, I'm sure that the results are counterproductive. Things can and do go the opposite way than was intended. (to be cont'd)

Essay: "The Mediocrity Zone", Part 6

Essay: "The Mediocrity Zone", Part 6 of 6

       It is pretty sad that certain people rely on 900 telephone numbers for intimacy, friendship, conversation, and even as a confessional. Certain people spend their spare-time watching so-called Infomercials, even though they are little more than extra-long advertisements disguised as talk-shows. Mopeds are just what a sedentary, overweight, air-polluted society needs. It is pretty pathetic when certain people want to  'Ban War Toys' to allegedly discourage aggression in children, when those same kids could easily buy a real gun on the streets with their paper route money, or by dealing drugs. The so-called cause of Banning War Toys is even more ludicrous when we have such legitimate gripes as: exorbitant and exclusionary health-care and health insurance; the fact that there is no equitable graduated income-tax, where the rich pay more and the poor pay less (as it should be), etc. It is also a sad commentary when someone could get a drive-through marriage in Las Vegas, without any thought or previous planning, and then get a quickie divorce as soon as five minutes later.

       Even more pathetic than the Wave, the New Age movement, or any of the above is the continued loyalty of many Americans to George Bush. Most, if not all of Bush's policies are as useless and pointless as those old-time 'Duck and Cover' drills. He assures us America's problems will just go away if we all pretend they don't exist and keep up our vigorous and cynical flag-waving. Perhaps we can start to  end our Mediocrity Streak if we start by getting George Bush out of office. Twenty-nine years of mediocre leadership is more than enough.

  [Originally published in Eastern Connecticut State University's Campus Lantern student newspaper in the early 1990s and part of my unpublished manuscript "In Mediocrity We Trust... In Debt We Die" And Other Essays]

Essay: "The Mediocrity Zone", Part 5 of Several

Essay: "The Mediocrity Zone", Part 5 of Several

The '80s and '90s:  I can't help but feeling jaded, when all I see is overrated. Perhaps for the first time, in the 1980s and '90s, we started to see the full effects of having at least two decades of mediocre to abysmal Presidents. Most abysmal of all, as I see it, were the Know-Nothing and Do-Nothing Presidents, Reagan and Bush. 

       The '80s and '90s were when America started to decline in many areas at once. The '80s and '90s had more than enough mediocrity to fill a full set of encyclopedias. We had so-called Born-Again religious lobotomites, crooked TV preachers, eve of destruction, liposuction, Dance Music, 20eth century 'pump' sneakers at 25th century prices (which some people have actually killed for), Cabbage Patch dolls, Dan Quayle, Yugo cars, and on and on and on. Also, it's bad enough that Synchronized Swimming is considered a sport, but has now become an 'Olympic Event'.  (to be cont'd)

[Originally published in Eastern Connecticut State University's Campus Lantern student newspaper in the early '90s and part of my unpublished manuscript "In Mediocrity We Trust... In Debt We Die" And Other Essays.] 

Essay: "The Mediocrity Zone", Part 4 of Several

Essay: "The Mediocrity Zone", Part 4 of Several

      The 1970s: The '70s was a decade which was rather mellow, compared to the '60s. Certain entrepreneurs began to realize that just about anything might sell so long as it was packaged or advertised in the most enticing way. As a result, untold millions of people bought such worthless, useless, and inconsequential things as Pet Rocks, mood rings, and Ginsu knives. In the mid-seventies, Disco actually overtook the good music for a while, and we had the Democratic do-nothing President, James Earl Carter.

       Although Jimmy Carter became an admirable humanitarian after he left office, while he was Commander-In-Chief  often seemed that he didn't know what he was doing. Or, he couldn't get much of his agenda through an unyielding Congress. Also, the Energy Crisis while he was in office didn't help his legacy. Perhaps as a result of his failures as President, we have pretty much been cursed with administrations of vicious and avaricious Republicans ever since. [Until Bill Clinton and later Obama came along.] (to be cont'd)

     [Originally published in Eastern Connecticut State University's Campus Lantern student newspaper in the early 1990s and part of my unpublished manuscript "In Mediocrity We Trust... In Debt We Die" And Other Essays.]

Essay: "The Mediocrity Zone", Part 3 of Several

Essay: "The Mediocrity Zone", Part 3 of Several

      The 1960s: There was quite a bit of mediocrity going on in the turbulent '60s. Continuing with situation-comedies, the borderline untraditional family of the sixties and seventies, "the Brady Bunch", seemed happy, normal and well-adjusted on screen. In real-life, the actor who played the patriarch of the family (Robert Reed) ended up dying of AIDS. Unless he was a hemophiliac, chances are he was not practicing the elitist, conservative version of  'Family Values'. Similarly, the actress who played the mom on the show (Florence Henderson) reportedly dated one of the young actors who played her stepson, once they grew up of course. Also, if I remember correctly, it was also reported that one of the actor(s) or actress(es) who played a few of the youngest stepchildren on the show were caught together in various states of undress.

       Starting on November 23, 1963, we had the start of abysmal Presidents, from LBJ to George Bush [In retrospect, maybe LBJ and a few others weren't that bad after all.] There were also such things as polyester suits, bell-bottoms, the idea if you remember the sixties you really didn't live it. And, of course, Free Love, which is probably a major factor to do with our ultra-high divorce rate and why AIDS and HIV is such an international worry thirty-plus years later. (to be cont'd)

   [Originally published in Eastern Connecticut State University's Campus Lantern student newspaper in the early 1990s and part of my unpublished manuscript "In Mediocrity We Trust... In Debt We Die And Other Essays".]

Essay: "The Mediocrity Zone", Part 2 of Several

Essay: "The Mediocrity Zone", Part 2 of Several

       Another mediocre thing about the 1940s was the very existence of the House Committee of UnAmerican Activities. Although its function was to investigate alleged anti-American (pro-Communist) activities of U.S. citizens, it was ironically and arguably the most unAmerican government agency until the Reagan-appointed Rehnquist Court came along. 

       The 1950s:  During the '50s, or another nearby decade, for a practical joke a journalist made up an organization called SINA, or the Society Against Indecency in Naked Animals. People in this fictitious organization advocated putting clothing on all animals, in the name of decency. Although this so-called organization was meant solely as a joke, many religious zealots and other assorted bozos took up this cause as their very own. They took the quest to clothe all animals very seriously.

       Perhaps an even worse thing about the '50s was the presence of Senator Joseph McCarthy. Senator McCarthy was undoubtably a mediocre politician, who very likely would have faded into well-deserved obscurity if he had not taken full advantage of the Red Scare; and in the process ruined the lives of hundreds of people by arbitrarily accusing them of being Communists or Communist-sympathizers.

       Other examples of mediocrity from the '50s include such things as hula hoops, and those stupid beanies with propellors, which certain young people supposedly once wore. The fifties were also the source of many of the situation-comedies which helped give rise to the myth of 'ideal family values', which unfortunately exists to this day. "Father Knows Best" had a cast which may have seemed happy and well-adjusted, but in real-life the father (Robert Young) was a suicidal alcoholic, and several children on the show became abusers of drugs and/or alcohol. Likewise, on the show "Ozzy and Harriet", the family acted one way in front of the camera (happy and seemingly well-adjusted), while the Nelsons were evidently a classic dysfunctional family in real-life. (to be cont'd)

 [Originally published in Eastern Connecticut State University's Campus Lantern student newspaper and part of my unpublished manuscript "In Mediocrity We Trust... In Debt We Die" And Other Essays.]

Essay: "The Mediocrity Zone", Part 1 of Several

Essay: "The Mediocrity Zone", Part 1 of Several

          [Originally published in Eastern Connecticut State University's Campus Lantern student newspaper in the early 1990s and part of my unpublished manuscript "In Mediocrity We Trust... In Debt We Die And Other Essays"]

       With apologies to the late Rod Serling: 

        Presented for your disapproval: the pointless, the useless, the worthless, and the inconsequential things and ideas, which intrigue the various ne'er-do-wells, sociopaths and mental defectives who bless or curse our planet and our nation. You've just crossed over onto the Medocrity Zone...

       Timeless Medocrity: The concept that the wearing or not of neckties is the best way to determine if someone should get a job or not. The obsession Americans tend to have about lawns, diets and lawn care.

       The 1940s:  During the 1940s and '50s as well, school children were put through drills of "Duck and Cover" to hopefully be able to save themselves in case of the newest nightmare by the Russians, the Nuclear Threat. Children were told that in case of a nuclear attack during the school day, all they had to do was hide under their desk and they would survive unscathed. Luckily for them, they never had to find out first hand that this idea would never work. Keep in mind that the anagram for nuclear is unclear, and much of the thought that went into the use of nuclear reactors and weaponry was and continues to be unclear. The more recent equivalent of "Duck and Cover" occurs when an airplane is about to crash, and the stewardess(es) tell(s) the passengers to: "Put your head between your knees..." (and try to kiss your @$$ goodbye). (to be cont'd)