Essay: "900 Numbers", Part 3 of Several

Essay: "900 Numbers", Part 3 of Several

Any 900 number contest is automatically suspect of being a sham, since most contests don't require a purchase. ("No purchase necessary."). Before you call an astrology line, go to the library and read the horoscope in the newspaper for free. Even buying a book about astrology or going to a psychic in person would likely be cheaper than repeatedly calling a 900 number.

If you call a confession line, why not confess your secrets to a close friend, a shrink, a clergyman, or anonymously blog about it on the internet? Or why not keep it to yourself and save your money? Instead of calling an advice line, read someone like "Dear Abby" and perhaps write in, or go to someone who knows what you need to know, perhaps for free; or at least for legitimate advice. (to be cont'd).

[Note: The original version of this essay first appeared in Eastern Connecticut State University's Campus Lantern student newspaper in the early '90s and was later part of my unpublished manuscript "In Mediocrity We Trust... In Debt We Die" And Other Essays.]

Essay: "900 Numbers" Part 2 of Several

Essay: "900 Numbers", Part 2 of Several

Calling a 900 Number costs at least one dollar per minute, and very few callers can resist talking for a minute or less. As a matter of fact, in many cases, the people on the other end (for instance, on the party lines) are actors or actresses specially trained to keep people who call in talking for as long as possible. Naturally, any phone line which costs an astronomical amount per minute or for conversation is bound to attract crooks, con artists, and all around sleazy groups and individuals.

It wouldn't surprise me if all the sleazy and potentially sleazy groups and individuals get in on the action. I could imagine people and/or groups such as the CIA, indicted or convicted members of the Reagan administration, unindicted members of the Dubya Bush administration, tv evangelists, organized crime and religion, and many others all establishing nine hundred number lines to exploit the public. (to be cont'd)

[Note: The original version of this essay first appeared in Eastern Connecticut State University's Campus Lantern student newspaper in the early '90s and was later part of my unpublished manuscript "In Mediocrity We Trust... In Debt We Die" And Other Essays.]

Essay: "900 Numbers"

Essay: "900 #s"

Never mind the perverts and the lonely hearts who call those party lines and sleazy phone sex lines; at least for now.

Nine hundred numbers- They're made for exploitation, for many folks across the nation.

In the last decade or more, what started out as an underground industry has been made almost mainstream from many people's points of view.

During the nineteen eighties, underage kids routinely got through to the sleazy adult phone lines. In the last decade or so, 900 #s have proliferated like a virus. There are contest lines, astrological and psychic lines, confession lines, advice lines, and you name it, there is probably a 900 line for it. (to be cont'd)

[The original version of this essay first appeared in Eastern Connecticut State University's Campus Lantern student newspaper in August of 1992 and was later part of my unpublished manuscript "In Mediocrity We Trust... In Debt We Die" And Other Essays.]

Poetry: "A Meteorological Poem"

Poetry: "A Meteorological Poem"

It's eighty in Haiti.

It's forty in Spain.

And if in Seattle expect lots of rain.

It's twenty in Juneau. [Capital of Alaska]

It's fifty in France.

And in Hawaii, it's too hot for long pants...

Sci-Fi Bri's Movies: "Julie and Julia"

Sci-Fi Bri's Movies: "Julie and Julia" Directed by Norah Ephron Starring Amy Adams as Julie Powell, Meryl Streep as Julia Child, Stanley Tucci as Julia Child's husband, etc.

Based on two autobiographical books, one about Julia Child and the other about Julia Child aficionado Julie Powell. Basically, the premise of the movie is: A frustrated writer who works full time handling telephone gripes for the government decides to blow off steam by "making 521 Julia Child recipes" over the course of a year and to blog about it. This actually happened and opened doors for the writer which might not otherwise have been opened. Eventually she cooks one of Ms. Child's famous recipes for Julia's onetime cookbook editor. The movie cuts between Julia Child learning French cooking in France and the cooking blogger. Both parts of the movie were good. Perhaps either story could have been a movie on its own. Ms. Child's struggle to learn French cooking and to get her cookbook published was intriguing and Streep's depiction of her was spot on, but I enjoyed Amy Adams even more as the frazzled Julie Powell risking her diet, her sanity, her job, and her marriage with her devotion to this recipe-making project. Besides, Amy Adams is, in my opinion, a naturally likable actress. Part drama and part comedy, this move to me was well worth seeing, whether on the big screen or home video.

Sci-Fi Bri's Movies: "The Hurt Locker"

Sci-Fi Bri's Movies: "The Hurt Locker"

Directed by: Kathryn Bigelow Actors: Jeremy Renner, Guy ("Memento") Pearce, David Morse, Ralph Fiennes, Evangeline ("Lost") Lilly, etc.

Based on a true story. Portrayal of the U.S. army's bomb squad in Iraq, constantly under danger from Improvised Explosive Devices (IEDs), which it their job to defuse; from insurgents bullets, and sometimes with their own recklessness. After a fellow bomb squad member loses his life to an IED, his replacement, SGT. Wm. James (Jeremy Renner) is either very brave or extremely reckless. he seems to have a death-wish, but he thrives in his specialty in the Iraqi desert. Unfortunately, the chances he takes put the other soldiers in his unit at risk. In fact, a lower ranked soldier is even seeing a military psychologist over his fear of possibly dying in the war. Very tense, the movie allows the audience to feel how the soldiers feel who must defuse explosives on a daily basis; putting themselves at risk to save the lives of Americans and Iraqis alike. The movie depicts the 38 days before their tour of duty is over.

Subvsersive Poetry: "Spay or Neuter Your Kid"

Subversive Poetry: "Spay or Neuter Your Kid"

Spay or Neuter your kid!

Put their vasectomy or hysterectomy out to bid

Be prepared to pay several quid

For overpopulation is something we have to be rid.

Spay or neuter your child

Ere he or she starts running wild

With other people beguiled

He or she will bear stacks of others like tiles... (to be cont'd?)

Poetry: "A Beetle Crawled..."

Poetry: "A Beetle Crawled..."

A beetle crawled across my floor

It came so uninvited

I crushed it with my shodden shoe

I hope I don't get cited... (to be cont'd?)

Poetry: "Dead End Job" A Work in Progress

Poetry: "Dead End Job" A Work in Progress

The pay is low.

Even worse is Respect.

It seems my future has been wrecked.

With a Dead-End Job, what do you expect?... (to be cont'd?)

"Second-Hand Smoke" A Work in Progress

Acrid smoke wafts in the air.

About my lungs, smoke fiends don't care.

In the end they'll pay the fare. [Get lung cancer or emphysema, etc.]

But extinguish their smokes, I wouldn't dare... (to be cont'd?)

Sci-Fi Bri's Movies: "Ponyo" and "Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

Sci-Fi Bri's Movies: "Ponyo" and "Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

"Ponyo": (Rated G) Animated With voice talents of Cate Blanchette, Matt Damon, Liam Neeson, and Betty White

In this Japanese anime film, a five year old boy finds a magical goldfish stuck in a glass jar and he names her Ponyo and takes her home as a pet. Ponyo wants nothing more than to become human. Despite her god-like father's (Liam Neeson) disapproval, as long as the boy loves her unconditionally, she will live the rest of her life as a human being. Although geared toward children,I enjoyed this movie with its hand-drawn animation, except that Ponyo has a very annoying voice.

"Paul Blart: Mall Cop" (Rated PG-13) On Home Video Characters/Actors: Paul Blart (Kevin ["Hitch"] James), Amy (Jayma Mays), etc.

From former "SNL" comedian Adam Sandler's Happy Madison Productions comes this semi-hilarious knockoff of "Die Hard". On the day after Thanksgiving, known as "Black Friday" to retailers, an overweight rent-a-cop foils the plans of armed mostly skateboard-

wielding thieves. Mall security guard Paul Blart recently failed the physical component of entrance to the police academy and he outwits the gang of menacing thieves without a gun and his only weapon is his Segway Scooter. In a subplot, single father Blart ineptly attempts to romance a pretty fellow mall employee. Somewhat silly, but I enjoyed it anyway.

Sci-Fi Bri's Movies: "Final Destination" in 3-D

Sci-Fi Bri's Movies: "Final Destination" in 3-D

In the original "Final Destination" film, Devon Sawa has a vision or premonition just before he and some friends are about to board a plane for a school trip. A moment after failing to board the airplane, the jet explodes, killing the rest of his classmates and many teachers who were unfortunate enough to be aboard the airliner. Very soon after enduring the trauma of watching all of their classmates die right before their eyes, the survivors start dying one by one in strange ways. At the end, actress Ali Larter ("Heroes") is the sole survivor, only to be killed off in the sequel. All the movies in the "Final Destination" franchise have pretty much the same formula: To wit, a tragedy occurs to several mostly young people. The survivors just missed tragically dying themselves. And, when those who endured start dying one by one some or all of them come to suspect that they can't cheat death. In other words, if they narrowly escaped death they are bound to meet their demise very soon afterwards.

The second "Final Destination" movie took place at an amusement park when a rollercoaster kills a bunch of riders. The third "Final Destination" Film takes place on a subway where a train kills a lot of riders. In the latest: "Final Destination" in 3-D, at the McKinley Raceway, a young college-aged man has a vision of a serious crash of a stock car crash which ends up killing fifty-two some-odd spectators. The young man flips out and his actions result in a number of people being saved. But, as in all "Final Destination" films, the survivors soon start dying off one at a time. In this movie, you see debris from the crash and blood and body parts in 3-d. I jumped at least once. If you enjoyed "Saw" or the other "Final Destination" movies you will likely also enjoy this one, especially if you see the movie in three dimensions. Be aware, there is nudity, profanity and a sex scene. Also, when people die they die in the worst ways imaginable.