Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Essay: "900 Numbers", Part 3 of Several

Essay: "900 Numbers", Part 3 of Several

Any 900 number contest is automatically suspect of being a sham, since most contests don't require a purchase. ("No purchase necessary."). Before you call an astrology line, go to the library and read the horoscope in the newspaper for free. Even buying a book about astrology or going to a psychic in person would likely be cheaper than repeatedly calling a 900 number.
If you call a confession line, why not confess your secrets to a close friend, a shrink, a clergyman, or anonymously blog about it on the internet? Or why not keep it to yourself and save your money? Instead of calling an advice line, read someone like "Dear Abby" and perhaps write in, or go to someone who knows what you need to know, perhaps for free; or at least for legitimate advice. (to be cont'd).
[Note: The original version of this essay first appeared in Eastern Connecticut State University's Campus Lantern student newspaper in the early '90s and was later part of my unpublished manuscript "In Mediocrity We Trust... In Debt We Die" And Other Essays.]

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